So when you saw the title of this post, did you really think I was going to post my “Before” photos here in all of my XL glory? Seriously? HA HA HA HA No.
But here’s the idea:
Now please, before you go reading anything into this cartoon, please know I just snagged it from google images (credit given) because the lady still looked cute, even for a big girl. Kinda like me. So I appreciate her struggles, even though she is, well, a cartoon.
The thing is, I DID just take some super-duper-top-secret “BEFORE” photos. I’m getting ready to start something new this Monday and I’m certain that the last quarter of 2010 is going to yield awesome results for me physically! The Before Photos will be my evidence of how far I’ve come.
But I am most certainly NOT going to be sharing those “Before” Pics here unless I’ve got some hottie “After” Pics of myself to post along side them. This will take time, effort, and cooperation from my metabolism.
If you want to know why most people don’t embark on these weight-loss odysseys that require photographic evidence, I have a theory.
I do NOT think the problem is not wanting to face one’s blubbery image on the screen. I do NOT think the problem is embarrassment of the throngs of curiousity-seekers who might ogle at your photo like some sort of freak in a carnival tent.
No, I’m pretty confident that the Real Issue is that Before Photos are NOT a one-person job. There is another person clicking away at the camera to capture all that voluptuousness. In theory, this photographer is an encourager, someone who you trust. But the Before Photo is where theory meets reality.
It’s ugly, people. In so many ways.
I shall illustrate.
My photographic helpers were daughters Ninja (11 year-old tomboy) and Princess (10 year-old girlie girl).
Princess: Mom, you don’t look that fat. You look cute.
Ninja: You don’t look fat at all Mom. (pause) *giggle*
Me: What?
Ninja: (collecting herself) No. You look great Mom.
Princess: It’s just that we’re not used to seeing you with, you know, THAT (points to my XL belly sticking out between the bottom of my bright yellow running bra and the waist of my black compression shorts.)
Me: Yes, I usually try to be more modest. It’s not like I’m going to be wearing this get-up out at…
Princess: (interrupting) No, really Mom. It’s not that you look like a hootchie or anything. It’s just that I had no idea your belly was so…
Ninja: (cutting her off) Let’s take the pictures, now. (clicks away at camera) Okay, turn to the side now.
Me: (turning) Like this?
Ninja: Sure. Yeah, Yes…Yes… ACK! WOW! Oh Mom, I had no idea.
(Princess flees from hallway photography studio, possibly in fear, possibly to avoid being caught laughing at mama.)
Me: Nice. Did you get the stinking picture?
Ninja: Yeah, Mom. Here’s your camera.
Me: (looking at the photos) Ugh. I have my work cut out for me. Thanks for your help, girls.
Princess: (peeking back around the corner) You really do look cute, Mom.
Ninja: In a silly kind of way.
Princess: Yes, “silly.” That’s it exactly.
Me: (muttering to myself as I head away from the camera crew, who I imagine is now dissolving into a fit of giggles) I guess the whole experience could have been worse.
Helpful Husband: (from the next room) What experience?
Exactly.
So this is exactly why most people do NOT put themselves through the ordeal of those Before Photos.
Marathon training? No problem.
Intense cardio? Awesome.
Strength training from hell? Bring it.
They are small potatoes compared to the ordeal of the Before Photos.
But I figure if you can make it through the Before Photo ordeal, then everything else is downhill from there!
Check back with me on December 31, and I’ll tell you whether it was worth it! 🙂
[UPDATE:]
Helpful Husband has now been exposed to this blog post. After laughing hysterically–a little too loud and long, I might add–he asks, “When did this happen? Was it here? Was I here? Really?”
“A couple weeks ago. Yes. Yes. And yes.” Hard stare at HH.
Long pause while HH ponders whether he would have been in more trouble if he’d been involved during the infamous photo shoot than he is for being so very unaware.
Again, I say, it could have been worse!
Well done, you! The first step in a challenge you’ve set for yourself. I look forward to following your journey with you! Our children are brought to us to keep us humble – they do that SO well!
Blessings!
Sunshine x
Woo hoooo!!! Yay Shannon! Step one DONE!
Good luck.
I find that if I fill 3/4 of my plate with fruit and veggies, then I can have a bit of whatever I want in the last space and still lose (or maintain) weight in a steady stream.
Knowing that I can have small portions of pizza, lasagna, or mac and cheese keeps me motivated.
I am not a fan of veggies, but I do eat them out of duty. I’ve never thought of proportioning my plate like this and I’m going to try it. Thanks!
I’m assuming that french fries don’t count as a veggie in this experiment. *sigh*
Sure. Just make steak fries in the oven:
Cut 3-4 baking potatoes into long wedges. Drizzle with a tbsp. of oil. Sprinkle with some garlic salt, or italian seasoning, or rosemary, or salt & pepper.
Stir to distribute the seasonings and oil.
Bake at 425 degrees for 30 minutes (or so). Serve with your favorite french fry dipping sauce.
Even better, toss in some carrots:
And this counts as a VEGETABLE?! Oh, Girl, you have absolutely made my day! 🙂
Yay!
Potatoes are full of fiber. They fill you up without filling you out. UNLESS you fix them with oodles of cheese and cream and butter and . . .
You can bake sweet potatoes the same way.
And I make mashed potatoes by just steaming the taters, smashing them with a bit of low fat milk, salt and pepper.
If we bypass the butter (or just use a bit) . . . potatoes are yummy in our tummy without expanding our waistlines.
Hey Shannon!
Thanks for the inspiration! Even though I’m not a mid-life Mommy, I am a mid-life Daddy of two young boys who now spends more time with them than going and doing my usual outdoor activities that used to keep me tone and fit. I also find myself fixing a meal for them that they asked for and when completed seem to look at it and say “I don’t want it!” So, with all the starving people in the world I find myself compelled to eat the meal rather than throw it away. Atleast thats how I rationalize the matter while I scarf down yet another meal not meant for me.
While I do still strength train that does nothing for the mid-section and those gastly love handles. I have never been a runner but have been following your posts on Facebook about your committment to being a marathon runner. I know it is now a hingeing point in my life…..I either don’t do anything and watch myself balloon up in weight and therefore be depressed as I have never been overweight. Or, I take a stand and do something about it. Tonight I will go for my first run/jog/walk (however it turns out) in my fight to stay fit and in shape into the second half of my life. Not only for me but for my young son’s as well. I owe it to you and your marathon posts and now seeing your committment to getting into shape on this blog as well. I may not be able to run every night but I will make the committment to do so atleast three nights a week. Thanks for the inspiration and helping me “take back my forties.”
Thanks Jay! And congrats on the decision to “take back your forties!”
A little unsolicited advice since you mention you’re a new runner/walker: 1. Go s-l-o-w-e-r than you want to. At least at first. 2. Take something to drink if you’re going to be out longer than 45 minutes. I’m not talking about a Budweiser, either. Water, buddy. 3. Rest a FULL 24-48 hours between rigorous exercise, especially when you’re first starting out.
The biggest thing to sabotage us adult-onset-athletes is injury from doing too much too fast. It’s not our egos, either. It’s that our mind really doesn’t understand that our bodies take MUCH longer to recover from exercise now than they did way back when we were in our 20’s. THAT is why so many mid-lifers end up quitting. The best description of this phenomena I’ve read was by John Bingham in Marathoning for Mortals, an awesome book well worth reading, even if you never plan to run or walk a marathon, but just want to get in shape starting somewhere at age 40-something.
Can’t wait to hear how it goes! Keep in me posted!
I remember going to dinner with you many years ago, when you ordered something that came with 2 sides. “I’d like french fries and french fries,” you said. The waitress asked what your second side should be, and you simply replied, “french fries, please.” She walked away a bit puzzled, but you did get a huge heaping of fries next to your meat.
Bad news, though… white potatoes are very high in glycemic value. Stick with the orange ones. They’re called “Sweet” Potatoes so they MUST be good, right? 🙂
I recommend reading Sugarbusters (or at least look at the food lists, which is all I did). It’s what did it for me last time, and what I’m going with this time!
Go, Shannon!
I just discovered your blog and I just love your posts!! I admire your honesty and your sense of humor! I am trying to work through my own midlife crisis and getting in shape and learning to love exercise is a big part of that. I have recently decided that I should be a runner (I have no idea why) but the training is going much slower than anticipated, especially now that I have developed shin splints. It is so frustrating but I am entering a 5k next week and I am determined to cross that finish line, even if it includes a lot of walking.
Thanks for your inspiration and keep posting!
I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. I look at my wedding photos from almost two years ago and my ARMS…I don’t even look at the rest.
Shannon, soooo funny! I too have a similiar story from Beautiful Olivia taking my “before pictures”.
Love it!
[…] last Friday, I announced to the known universe that I was going to try Something New on Monday. And I wrote about the Before-Photos I took in preparation for it. Yes, I know today is Tuesday and I haven’t provided The Report yet. But bear with me. […]
I can completely hear the girls in my head as I’m reading this. Hilarious. U may have had less…… Commentary if dad had done it though. Mr oblivious…