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So when you saw the title of this post, did you really think I was going to post my “Before” photos here in all of my XL glory?  Seriously?  HA HA HA HA  No.

But here’s the idea: 

Photo Credit

Now please, before you go reading anything into this cartoon, please know I just snagged it from google images (credit given) because the lady still looked cute, even for a big girl.  Kinda like me.  So I appreciate her struggles, even though she is, well, a cartoon.

The thing is, I DID just take some super-duper-top-secret “BEFORE” photos.  I’m getting ready to start something new this Monday and I’m certain that the last quarter of 2010 is going to yield awesome results for me physically!  The Before Photos will be my evidence of how far I’ve come. 

But I am most certainly NOT going to be sharing those “Before” Pics here unless I’ve got some hottie “After” Pics of myself to post along side them.  This will take time, effort, and cooperation from my metabolism.

If you want to know why most people don’t embark on these weight-loss odysseys that require photographic evidence, I have a theory. 

I do NOT think the problem is not wanting to face one’s blubbery image on the screen.  I do NOT think the problem is embarrassment of the throngs of curiousity-seekers who might ogle at your photo like some sort of freak in a carnival tent. 

No, I’m pretty confident that the Real Issue is that Before Photos are NOT a one-person job.  There is another person clicking away at the camera to capture all that voluptuousness.  In theory, this photographer is an encourager, someone who you trust.  But the Before Photo is where theory meets reality. 

It’s ugly, people.  In so many ways.

I shall illustrate.

My photographic helpers were daughters Ninja (11 year-old tomboy) and Princess (10 year-old girlie girl). 

Princess:  Mom, you don’t look that fat.  You look cute.

Ninja:  You don’t look fat at all Mom.  (pause)  *giggle*

Me:  What?

Ninja:  (collecting herself)  No.  You look great Mom. 

Princess:  It’s just that we’re not used to seeing you with, you know, THAT (points to my XL belly sticking out between the bottom of my bright yellow running bra and the waist of my black compression shorts.)

Me:  Yes, I usually try to be more modest.  It’s not like I’m going to be wearing this get-up out at…

Princess:  (interrupting)  No, really Mom.  It’s not that you look like a hootchie or anything.  It’s just that I had no idea your belly was so…

Ninja:  (cutting her off)  Let’s take the pictures, now.  (clicks away at camera)  Okay, turn to the side now.

Me:  (turning) Like this?

Ninja:  Sure.  Yeah, Yes…Yes…  ACK!  WOW!  Oh Mom, I had no idea. 

(Princess flees from hallway photography studio, possibly in fear, possibly to avoid being caught laughing at mama.)

Me:  Nice.  Did you get the stinking picture?

Ninja:  Yeah, Mom.  Here’s your camera. 

Me:  (looking at the photos)  Ugh.  I have my work cut out for me.  Thanks for your help, girls.

Princess:  (peeking back around the corner)  You really do look cute, Mom.

Ninja:  In a silly kind of way.

Princess:  Yes, “silly.”  That’s it exactly.

Me:  (muttering to myself as I head away from the camera crew, who I imagine is now dissolving into a fit of giggles) I guess the whole experience could have been worse.

Helpful Husband:  (from the next room) What experience?

Exactly.

So this is exactly why most people do NOT put themselves through the ordeal of those Before Photos. 

Marathon training?  No problem. 

Intense cardio?  Awesome.

Strength training from hell?  Bring it. 

They are small potatoes compared to the ordeal of the Before Photos. 

But I figure if you can make it through the Before Photo ordeal, then everything else is downhill from there! 

Check back with me on December 31, and I’ll tell you whether it was worth it!  🙂

 [UPDATE:] 

Helpful Husband has now been exposed to this blog post.  After laughing hysterically–a little too loud and long, I might add–he asks, “When did this happen?  Was it here?  Was I here?  Really?” 

“A couple weeks ago.  Yes.  Yes.  And yes.”  Hard stare at HH.

Long pause while HH ponders whether he would have been in more trouble if he’d been involved during the infamous photo shoot than he is for being so very unaware. 

Again, I say, it could have been worse!

 

 

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Wow and Woo Hoo! 

BravaTickled200[1]

Photo Credit

I am so excited and humbled and tickled pink all at the same time!  This little blog has reached a milestone!

In just the first 20 days, there have been more than 1000 views on this blog!  I have no idea what that means in blogland, but I can tell you it’s far exceeded my expectations! 

Who knew that the antics of a woman trying to run, run, run her way out of a midlife crisis (I’m not yet having one, but don’t want to either!) would be of this much interest to anybody (except couple family members I nag and guilt into reading it)?  Well, as long as I’ve got folks coming here to be entertained and encouraged (or whatever you’re coming here for…), I guess I’ll go ahead and keep writing for ya. 

How exactly does one celebrate 1000 views in 20 days?  When I told my children they came up with the brilliant idea of ice cream for breakfast and skipping school to have a party.  (That ain’t gonna happen.)  No, I’ll think I’ll celebrate by…running!  Yep, not original, but germane nonetheless.

Looking ahead, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve:  The  Big Announcement that’ll be made within the next 24 hours.  (No, there is NO baby on its way.  Will you STOP it already?!)  The reveal of my Top Secret Cross Training Exercise (but you all really need to actually TAKE the poll, for heaven’s sake.  Just pick a button and push.  It’s not brain surgery!)  The winner of  The Contest (a couple more weeks for that~keep those entries coming!).  And something NEW for Facebook users. 

THANKS again for visiting with me as I run along on this adventure!  I couldn’t have asked for better company.  🙂

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I had to pass along this very funny quote from an anonymous friend and fellow Fitness Diva, who we’ll just call CHRIS for the sake of this post.  (So what if that’s her real name, we’re calling her that anonymously for the post.)

Heard last night:

Oh please, diet and exercise fairy, grant me the will power and energy to survive the enticements of [the coming day] and the motivation to get my booty to the Y.

ExerciseFairies[1]

Fairy Credit

Oh, have mercy!  I spent most of the night LAUGHING at things my fitness diva girlfriends were writing.  Really, who needs crunches when you can just laugh for hours?!  Just thought I’d share. 

 

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