Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘lose weight’ Category

So when you saw the title of this post, did you really think I was going to post my “Before” photos here in all of my XL glory?  Seriously?  HA HA HA HA  No.

But here’s the idea: 

Photo Credit

Now please, before you go reading anything into this cartoon, please know I just snagged it from google images (credit given) because the lady still looked cute, even for a big girl.  Kinda like me.  So I appreciate her struggles, even though she is, well, a cartoon.

The thing is, I DID just take some super-duper-top-secret “BEFORE” photos.  I’m getting ready to start something new this Monday and I’m certain that the last quarter of 2010 is going to yield awesome results for me physically!  The Before Photos will be my evidence of how far I’ve come. 

But I am most certainly NOT going to be sharing those “Before” Pics here unless I’ve got some hottie “After” Pics of myself to post along side them.  This will take time, effort, and cooperation from my metabolism.

If you want to know why most people don’t embark on these weight-loss odysseys that require photographic evidence, I have a theory. 

I do NOT think the problem is not wanting to face one’s blubbery image on the screen.  I do NOT think the problem is embarrassment of the throngs of curiousity-seekers who might ogle at your photo like some sort of freak in a carnival tent. 

No, I’m pretty confident that the Real Issue is that Before Photos are NOT a one-person job.  There is another person clicking away at the camera to capture all that voluptuousness.  In theory, this photographer is an encourager, someone who you trust.  But the Before Photo is where theory meets reality. 

It’s ugly, people.  In so many ways.

I shall illustrate.

My photographic helpers were daughters Ninja (11 year-old tomboy) and Princess (10 year-old girlie girl). 

Princess:  Mom, you don’t look that fat.  You look cute.

Ninja:  You don’t look fat at all Mom.  (pause)  *giggle*

Me:  What?

Ninja:  (collecting herself)  No.  You look great Mom. 

Princess:  It’s just that we’re not used to seeing you with, you know, THAT (points to my XL belly sticking out between the bottom of my bright yellow running bra and the waist of my black compression shorts.)

Me:  Yes, I usually try to be more modest.  It’s not like I’m going to be wearing this get-up out at…

Princess:  (interrupting)  No, really Mom.  It’s not that you look like a hootchie or anything.  It’s just that I had no idea your belly was so…

Ninja:  (cutting her off)  Let’s take the pictures, now.  (clicks away at camera)  Okay, turn to the side now.

Me:  (turning) Like this?

Ninja:  Sure.  Yeah, Yes…Yes…  ACK!  WOW!  Oh Mom, I had no idea. 

(Princess flees from hallway photography studio, possibly in fear, possibly to avoid being caught laughing at mama.)

Me:  Nice.  Did you get the stinking picture?

Ninja:  Yeah, Mom.  Here’s your camera. 

Me:  (looking at the photos)  Ugh.  I have my work cut out for me.  Thanks for your help, girls.

Princess:  (peeking back around the corner)  You really do look cute, Mom.

Ninja:  In a silly kind of way.

Princess:  Yes, “silly.”  That’s it exactly.

Me:  (muttering to myself as I head away from the camera crew, who I imagine is now dissolving into a fit of giggles) I guess the whole experience could have been worse.

Helpful Husband:  (from the next room) What experience?

Exactly.

So this is exactly why most people do NOT put themselves through the ordeal of those Before Photos. 

Marathon training?  No problem. 

Intense cardio?  Awesome.

Strength training from hell?  Bring it. 

They are small potatoes compared to the ordeal of the Before Photos. 

But I figure if you can make it through the Before Photo ordeal, then everything else is downhill from there! 

Check back with me on December 31, and I’ll tell you whether it was worth it!  🙂

 [UPDATE:] 

Helpful Husband has now been exposed to this blog post.  After laughing hysterically–a little too loud and long, I might add–he asks, “When did this happen?  Was it here?  Was I here?  Really?” 

“A couple weeks ago.  Yes.  Yes.  And yes.”  Hard stare at HH.

Long pause while HH ponders whether he would have been in more trouble if he’d been involved during the infamous photo shoot than he is for being so very unaware. 

Again, I say, it could have been worse!

 

 

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Ever since college (which is WAY longer ago than I care to admit), I’ve had this crazy idea about having a pay-per-minute business where people dial in to get excellent rationalizations for their crises of conscience.  Seriously.  I could spin you a perspective that could make you sound GREAT, even if you’d just done something downright dastardly.  People would end up thanking you for what you’d done.

Not that I encourage bad behavior, mind you.  I don’t.  But somehow, I always seem to find the good in people, the silver-lining if you will, and I figured that 1-900-RATIONALIZATION would be the way to get entrepreneurial with that endearing trait.

Years later, I grew up (a little) and determined that making a buck off of helping others shirk their responsibilities and behave like morons probably wasn’t the best way to earn a living.  (My apologies to my attorney friends who have no issue doing this on a regular basis.) 

But even though I’ve managed to squash the notion of making money off of helping others blame-shift, I still struggle with that part of me that (sadly) considers spinning an art form.  And I find myself practicing this by applying my rationalization prowess to my own foibles.  Responsible Shannon and Rationalizing Shannon are continually duking it out.

With that background in mind, I will now confess: 

I Did Not Run On Wednesday. 

*GASP*

 (Photo Credit)

And away we go:

Responsible Shannon (Our Hero):  You really should have run today.

Rationalizing Shannon (Our Rat):  How could I have run today?  I was really busy.

Hero:  You got up and even put on your running clothes before you went to that teacher meeting with Ninja’s teachers.

Rat:  Yeah, but I didnt’ have a clue what WordPress was going to be doing.

Hero:  You really need to stop adjusting your plan for the day based on the actions of others, even if they are really exciting and great.

Rat:  But they were really exciting and great.

Hero:  Are you even listening to me?

Rat:  But WordPress put this blog on its Freshly Pressed page.  There were, like, a bazillion visits.  It was like winning the freaking blogging lottery!  I was really, really busy!

Hero:  What exactly did you have to DO with those *ahem* bazillion hits?

Rat:  Well, I kinda watched those stats go stinking crazy practically all day.  *blush*

Hero:  What?!  You’ve got WAY too much on your plate to be sitting in front of a computer screen all day, stat-watching!  You might as well be watching paint dry.

Rat:  Hellooooo!  This is FRESHLY PRESSED, for heaven’s sake.  Clearly, Hero, you are clueless.

Hero:  Call names all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that you missed your run in order to sit in front of the computer spellbound watching your blog go berserk. 

Rat:  And your point is? 

Hero:  What did you accomplish today?  What made this a day worth having?

Me:  Well, I remembered that I was a writer.  I posted something that made lots of people laugh and encouraged people in a bunch of ways.  I figure I just can’t ignore what happened on WordPress today.  It was a pretty big deal for Go Mommy!

Rat:  That’s what I was trying to say.

Hero:  Okay.  I’ll cut you a break this time.  Did you write thank you notes?

Me:  To the people who visited Go Mommy?

Hero:  Of course.

Me:  Are you kidding?  There were over 2400 visits to the blog today, alone! 

Hero:  Okay, perhaps a group thank you would do.

So here it is:

Thanks so much for visiting Go Mommy!  And thanks to WordPress for showcasing our blog.  And thanks for all the support from those who’ve known me well these past years.  What an amazing welcome–back to Blog Land–back home.

And as for the running, I’ll be hitting the road tomorrow.   At last.  Crazy, record-breaking stats and 900-number rationalizations not withstanding. 

Read Full Post »

Dear Metabolism, 

I miss you.  Really.  I miss you a lot. 

So much so that today I started searching for a photo of you, just to remember you by.  To my joy, here is what I found: 

Great Metabolism

(Photo Credit) 

But upon closer inspection, I realized, this isn’t MY metabolism.  It’s just some dude.  Kind of like those pictures of other people that come in the frames at Target.  

So I kept looking.  Then I saw you: 

My Metabolism

(Photo Credit) 

Very nice, you slacker.  You’re totally off the job!  Seriously–what on earth has happened to you?  Surely you’re not going to try to give me that excuse that I’M to blame for your disrepair, are you?! 

Listen, I know that getting older makes everything a little more rusty, but this is ridiculous.  And what’s with the hiding out at the bottom of that stairwell like some kind of bum?  

Well, you’re right about one thing.  You definitely need help.  And if you want it, you’ve got it.  We’re going to work together to get you back in fine shape. 

But you’re going to have to cooperate with me. 

No more of this deal where I do all the work and you stay asleep or in a daze.  No more hiding out when there’s metabolizing to be done!  

We are getting ready to kick this health thing into higher gear, and I’ve gotta have your cooperation.   Understand? 

You’re getting ready to experience some jolts to your broken-down, sleepy lifestyle, Metabolism. 

I’m getting ready to experience even better health and maybe even the loss of 30, 40 or 50 pounds.  

And those people out there, the ones who are looking in at you through their computer screens, reading this?  Consider them like the wild fans at a hockey game or a wrestling match, cheering on the home team (that would be me) onto total victory.  

In short, YOU belong to ME.  Brace yourself.  And consider yourself warned. 

Oh, and feel better soon.  Looking forward to seeing more of you!  

Your friend, 

Shannon 

 

Read Full Post »

Photo Credit

Just a reminder, Sunday is the last day submit your recipes for our Contest. 

The How (guidelines) of the Contest can be found and entries can be submitted HERE.

The Why (desperate plea for help) for the Contest can be found HERE

The drawing for The Prize will be held on and the winner will be announced on Monday. 

 

Read Full Post »

Poor HH.  He tries.  He really does. 

Thanksgiving is a Very Challenging Day for someone trying to lose weight.  And for me, it was my third day on Weight Watchers.  It was also a day I elected to go on a 10-mile run in the morning.  My master plan was to earn enough Activity Points to enjoy my feast guilt free.  Which indeed, I did.

So the Morning After the Thanksgiving Feast is always met with at worst, trepidation, and at best, curiosity.  At least by me.  And Friday morning is my weigh in day, so there wa no avoiding the trip to Scale City.

I got on the scale and…to my total delight, I’d LOST WEIGHT!  3.6 pounds.  Yippie!  In fact, I even lost weight over Thanksgiving Day, and I assure you, I ate plenty. 

Image Credit

Yes, I know that the first week or so of a new diet causes you to lose “water weight” and it’s not the same as losing actual blubber.  But remember, my master plan is to have less literal weight to carry around with me during my marathon in February.  It matters little whether I’m carrying 3.6 pounds of water or 3.6 pounds of fat or 3.6 pounds of pixie dust.  It takes more effort to carry 3.6 pounds of anything than it does to travel without it. 

So, delighted, I walk back into the bedroom and make my announcement to Happy Family.  Princess and Ninja were delighted, though they had the good sense to refrain from suggesting that we go out for Dairy Queen to celebrate. 

Helpful Husband was very happy for me.  In fact, HH was so happy that he had just a little short-circuit in the compliment-and-encouragement section of his brain.  Yes, he complimented me all right.  And you can be the judge as to whether it was better or worse than the last time.

Here’s how it went down:

HH:  Wow, honey.  That’s really great!  (This would have been a fine place for him to stop encouraging.)

Me:  Thanks!  I’m SO excited about it!

HH:  And you did all that in just three days.

Me:  Yes!

HH:  You know, you’ve lost more weight in the last three days than you did in over six months and almost 500 miles of running.

[Long pause as HH and I both ponder his last statement.  And his fate.]

Me:  Did you really just say that?

HH:  I was trying to compliment you.

Me:  Is that what that was?

HH:  I really am happy for you.

Me:  [sighing]  I know.  Thanks.

Epilogue:  In appreciation for this compliment, I spent the remainder of the day being Helpful Wife and announcing the point value of everything that HH was putting in his mouth.  It was the least I could do.  🙂

Read Full Post »

Me:  (Happily discovering that another food I like is cheap-o WW points)  Yes!

Princess: (Spying on me instead of picking up her room)  Mom, what are all the points for?

Me:  (Ignoring the question)  Is your room done?

Princess:  (Ignoring the question)  Are those points anything like Webkinz Kinzcash?

Me:  (I’m hooked.  She got me.)  No these are points that add up to a certain total I get for the day and then for the week…(long explanation trails off when her eyes glaze over)

Princess:  (Waking up from the glaze when she realizes I’ve stopped talking)  But what do you GET for the points?

Me:  I get to lose weight.

Princess:  Sounds like a rip off.  You should be able to use those points to buy something, like in Webkinz World.

Me:  I get to lose weight.

Princess:  How much weight have you lost?

Me:  I’ve only been doing this since 8 o’clock this morning.

Princess:  (with complete sincerity)  Yeah.  How much weight have you lost?

Me:  (after staring at her in disbelief during a long pause)  Is your room done?

[Princess exits with lightning speed.]

Read Full Post »

I did it.

I signed up for Weight Watchers three days before Thanksgiving.

Which proves that:

EITHER I am completely desperate to not be carrying the equivalent weight of a preschool toddler the 26.2 miles of the marathon I’m running in February

OR I have truly lost it.

I vote for both. 

It’s rally time, friends.  I’m really gonna need your support to unload some of this beloved blubber before I get to the starting line at the 26.2 with Donna Marathon to Finish Breast Cancer. 

And lots of you are actually embarking on fitness adventures of your own!  Chris is on board with me.  My new friend Carla signed up last week.  My pal Jackie is now considering a marathon!  Woo Hoo!  Who else is in?  I know it’s the holidays, but think of it:  what better present could you give yourself for the holidays than a healthier YOU?! 

Thanks for the encouragement, everybody!  The rubber meets the road tomorrow.  I might really be able to do this!  🙂

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: